Well, boys, the May WDI Oklahoma Tourney is near. In anticipation of the WDI Southern Hills, the greenskeeper has called and informed me that they are cutting the greens especially low and keeping the rough intact in preparation for the WDI tournament. The press is already hounding me with questions and pictures of some of our favorite WDI players, so I told them just to meet us at the golf course, and we would oblige.

Remember that we cannot use credit cards at Southern Hills or the Golf Club of Oklahoma. So plan to bring either cash or personal checks to pay either my brother or the two other gentlemen who will be joining us. We will have our own bet based upon three-man teams as Prez Kap and his two Oklahoma members don’t want to participate in our bet, but they will do a $20.00-a-day bet with us instead. Broneck will be emailing you as far as what cash to bring for the bets and everything else.

I just received a phone call from Jimmy the Geek, Jr., and he is quite angry at people calling him a Mediterranean grease ball because he does his job and does it well. Once again, he has handicapped this tournament’s players and offered a little highlight as to each of their personal attributes. So here you have them, the handicap picks for The Oklahoma WDI.

THE OKLAHOMA PLAYERS

Prez Kap (100-1)

Always has played in the shadow of his famous golfing “and much younger” brother. A high handicapper who can get hot in streaks- just look at the streaks in his hair. Critics say his swing reminds one of a Vega-matic – he slices and dices his way down the fairway. Around the greens, he has a touch of a gorilla. However, you can’t bag Prez Kap too much, for he be the “host.” Also hails from Sicily by way of Corsica.

Tom Kelly “TK” (75-1)

A good-natured, Irish gent who loves golf and animals. Has a great sense of humor – you have to when you see his swing. Currently, raises cows for both profit and hobby. Watch out, Broneck, if you cross him, he is likely to throw a cow pie at you.

Bill Ramsey “Ramdog” (25-1)

Ramsey is a throwback to the 60’s – you know the guy who drove motorcycles, greased his hair back with axle oil, had his cigarettes rolled up in the sleeve of his t-shirt, played in the middle of the line in football, well, the speech is typical, county Oklahoma, and his golf game is atypical but fun. His name, Ramdog, says it all. He will be paired as a partner with Snoot Dog. What… that… was?!!

THE FLORIDA PLAYERS

Snoot (10-1)

The favorite went off as 5 to 1 in Orlando and was promptly DQ’d for breaking curfew. Actually, he finished with a flourish there – with that late surge (ala Iraq). Will that be enough to ward off his AI Queda like competition? Is hot. Just won his flight with Bobby Weed at the April Palma Ceia Member Guest. He is a gamer, a grinder, and he be the Snoot Doggy Dog.

Kapalua (12-1)

A major attraction to the WDI tourney. This Puerto Rican born, Hawaiian who hails from Sicily is still a hot commodity. After winning consecutive WDI titles in Michigan in ’06 and Pinehurst in ’07, he stumbled but finished tied for 3rd in the next two. Perhaps, his medical status has cleared him for a major jump start in Tulsa. His adoring fans long for him to be back in the winner’s circle again.

Broneck (13-1)

A slow yet steady vet. His play is usually unnerved notwithstanding the media pressure (what do you want from a former American Airlines captain). Has been in contention in the last four tournaments; his time could come as it did in Orlando ’05 when he posted a WDl low 73 on his way to his first co-championship.

Fish (14-1)

Fish’s game continues to memorize critics – he is hot; he is cold; sort of like a big, fucking pompano flipping on the grill. After he won at Bay Hill (with all those lucky breaks), he fell apart like a cheap suit at the Men’s Wearhouse. Let’s wait and see which game he brings to Tulsa.

Boynie (60-1)

Fish’s roomie – the other half of the topsy turvy twins; Heckle and Jeckle, Moe and Larry; well, you get it. He prevailed at Torrey Pines in ’07 and also goes into the tank soon afterward. Injury – smidgery. Does he have the chutzpah to play well or what? We’ll see.

Joe Babbo (65-1)

Had an early spurt in Orlando that sent him up the leaderboard – he credits that to a large plate of pasta fagioli. A dark-haired Sicilian who plays by the book (the Sicilian Book of Omerta) and would just love to rub out the competition, so to speak. He could be a comer or he could be a goer.

The Rocket (85-1)

What can we say about The Rocket’s game that already hasn’y been said – actually, not much. Has a heart of a 60 year old but the knees of a 20 year old. Vying to become the first American WDI Jew to tee off at Southern Hills. His play lately at Palma Ceia has been sporadic. Apparently, he is taking notes from Mr. HP Handicap Sand Bagger Brooksy.

Bolt (90-1)

The Bolt is back without the “lightning.” You could say his game is like a 90 year old; it lacks teeth. Trying to become the “comeback player of the year” – hasn’t played in WDI competition since he was spanked by Kapalua in Michigan in September of ’06. Will the drought continue? I think so.

Neck (101-1)

The poor guy, he continues to try to emulate his good pal, Kapalua, by buying new equipment. (He is no longer playing Persimmons clubs anymore.) Driver, three-wood putter, balls, etc., but the only way to improve the Neck’s game is to replace his short, stout body from his neck (so to speak) down. Is a has been, hang arounder and will finish way back in the pack.

So there you have it, a very objective handicap analysis by my good friend, Jimmy the Geek, who continues to be off his mark when it comes to handicapping the WDI tournament. We will see what happens in Tulsa. See you then.

Yours in golf,

Rick Reilly