87, 87, 87 Kapalua, how would you assess your play?
KAP: Probably, consistently consistent…wouldn’t you agree, you moron!
WICK: Chick Garcia, short, talented, homely, but of Cuban heritage. And, you lack range of motion……..
CHICK: Bend over asshole, I’ll show you range of motion!!!!
WICK: They now call Palma Ceia, “The Sands of Iwo Jima” known for sand, brutality and heroism. Any rebuttal boys?
KAP: The sand killed me on Friday…..I was sitting on a 79, if I parred out. Only had 11, 12, 13 and 14 left…..then went triple, triple, par and double. OUCH!
CHICK: I had bad lies on 9 and 16 also, on consecutive days, which led to 2 triples. WOW
WICK: Kap, I heard rumors that you were shoving everything right on Thursdays scramble. Did you get any advice on correcting that?
CHICK: Yeah, he did. I told him to sleep on his left side and tape a brick to his left ankle!
WICK: Did it work Kap?
KAP: No, but I cold-cocked my girlfriend and her pussy( cat) in the middle of the night.
WICK: Why didn’t more of the WDIers play in this tourney?
KAP: Well, besides the fact that they suck…….Duke was in a Dubai sand storm and could’t leave; Jumpin Johnny Kluzek was participating in a ticker-tape parade in his native city of Budapest; Sam the Sham was back in Egypt; Joebob was out of sorts AND
CHICK: Snooter was busy filming a golf love story; Fish and Stein weren’t invited.
WICK: Chick, what really happened in Orlando? Someone called you a quitter and a girly boy, because you voted NOT to play the final round at Bay Hill in minus 20 degree weather?
CHICK: Look Dingola Brain, I was in 4th place w/ one round to go…I could have beat those puds. But, Kluz and Joebob opted not to play…pansies!!!!
KAP: ( rolling his eyes )
WICK: Chick, what advice would you give me( after watching a practice swing )
CHICK: Wick, I would rotate your underwear and take a long soak in a Raid bath……cut off both wrists and take up bowling!!!!
WICK: Fuck you, little man.
KAP: Guys, guys, hey settle down ( getting in between both men )
WICK: Ok, ok I don’t have to take this shit from you has-beens…..
CHICK: Who you calling has beens ( gets red-faced )
KAP: I think he’s talking about you Chickamauga…..go get him!!! ( Wick leaves studio at Golf Channel being chased by a short white-haired balding gent, who is yelling, I’ll kill you MOFO)
INTERVIEW CONCLUDED….I GUESS