MCNULTY CLAN SWEEPS TOP SPOT
2014 WDI TOURNEY IN N IRELAND…20TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY TOURNAMENT
by Wick E Wiley, ESPN Editor
William “Jake” Nellis and dad-in-law, James “Snooter” McNulty sat in the comfortable surroundings of the famous Crown Pub,reportedly the oldest type establishment in Belfast, N. Ireland, sipping on their Smithwick’s and Guiness pints,(cuz Jimmy likes that Guiness ) respectively,and grinning ear to ear as the gauntlet, known as the 20th Year Anniversary WDI tournament was……..FINALLY OVER! They had finished one-two after a grueling 6-course tourney. And peace was restored over Northern Ireland!
With possibly the worst weather conditions that anyone can remember, this WDI tourney turned out to be a battle of endurance and self-preservation. “Hey Kapalua,” shouted a weary but happy Snootdog, over the clamor of picture taking, ESPN interviews, potential IRA activists and many Irish toasts, “WA DA BE”? Kapalua, smiled back with a tired, resigned smile, then dove into a steaming portion of beef and guiness pie, and champs with mushy peas, whilst Joebob was smacking his lips, after ordering lamb for the 5th consecutive day. He was looking a bit, ‘sheepish.”BAHHH Meanwhile, Boynie was on his 3rd plate of liver and vittles, prompting one of the boys to say,” WTF, does he have a fricking tapeworm…he’s been eating like a condemned man on this trip”Goldilox (his son in law… aka Cheese) reiterated, “Boys this is how he ALWAYS eats!!” Oh, the lads did eat pretty well on this trip with, stops at 5-Star Slieve Donard in Royal County Downs; Lough Eske Castle in Donegal (built in 1861 and recently restored a few years ago); and cozy Bushmill’s Inn in Portrush, N. Ireland. And joining the group was wine connoisseur extrordinaire and renowned Tampa surgeon, rookie Stephen “Cutter” Butler. So the WDIers drank well too! The ONLY thing missing on this journey, however, was our famed tour leader Lloyd of Lloyd Creagh Irish Tours. Also missing (besides Snoot’s nice Blazer) was his boast of luxury vans; planned activities and booked reservations. Shoved into the Lloyd-less job was his able replacement Dave Mathews (without his band) who performed remarkably given the circumstances. You would smile too, if you were given a 1000 Euro tip at weeks end in Dublin.
Back to the links……….this WDI had a formidable list of competitors: multiple past champs, Kapalua, Duke, Snoot, Boynie and Jake; grisly vets Joebob, SteveO and Goldilox and rookies Cutter and Johnny Mac McLaughlin. After the 1st round at RCD in very windy conditions and then after the next day’s play again, Kapalua and Jake traded places from 1st to 2nd and kept that distance almost til the last day, when the Snootdog finally woke up and smelled the peat. And started to play some meaningful frickin golf, like he used to back in the day (when he lost to Eddie Pearce, Lanny Wadkins, Ben Crenshsaw, Davis Love, etc, inc everyone who held a club.) As for the rookies: Johnny Mac’s vaunted Mac Attack, never materialized. Even though his fans/backers kept cheering him on with chants of “He’s hell when he’s well” and Ain’t the beer warm? Mac contributed his poor showing to a spill he took in the middle of the night after DAY ONE that forced him to miss the 2nd day at RCD. Mac says he felt a hard push at 3am, but hisroomie, Cutter insists it was an accident. Besides being proficient in the making of wines, Cutter was adept all week of playing to his handicap and ultimately finished 4th.
As the Tour played Donegal, Ballyliffin and Portstewart (on DAYS 3–4–5) ESPN personalities were predicting a quick turnaround from some of the other players or a fast breakout….namely from the Duke of Eric. Well he did break out……but it was a head cold and sore throat. Duke’s scores soared like a hot air balloon and by week’s end, Duke’s game/handicap was bloated as well.
Meanwhile, the grisly vets: JoeBob, Goldy and SteveO played like (organ) grinders throughout the week, but the howling 30-40mph winds and tough fescue ground them up like mincemeat pie. In the end they were bleeting badly, just like the omnipresent sheep/lambs we saw daily.
On Friday morning on the final day at Royal Portrush, the trio of players who had a chance to win the coveted WDI trophy were: Jake the Snake, Snoot Doggy Dog and that sweet-swinging, good-looking Hawaiian, Puerto Rican Kapalua. Tensions were riding high, due to the fact that the forecast was rain, rain, rain, cold, cold cold and a lot of wind. Brrrr. Jake (a tough 5 handicapper) still held the lead at -12 (a score that reflects how tough the conditions were all week) with Snoot at -18 and Kapalua at -22. After 7 holes, a tired, pissed Johnny Mac threw in the towel obviously a wet one and exclaimed “NO MAS”. The rest of the crew fought on gamely. RESULT: Jake the Snake, although shooting a less than sterling 84, held on to win, whilst Snoot and Kap beaten to a pulp by the rain and wind, finished 2 and 3. After drying out thoroughly and warming up at Bushmills Inn from a plethora of gin martinis, Guiness, Smithwick and tasty red Chateaunuef du Pape vino from France’s Rhone region and vast amounts of mussels, cockles lamb and fish, the boys were relaxed and happy as clams. Following a visit to a fabulously innovative Titanic museum in Belfast on Saturday and at least 3 more Lloyd sightings, the crew made it back to Dublin….just in time to see the PennState/UCF football game.
Truly, this was an epic 20th Anniversary WDI tourney…..not for the faint of heart. Raising his pint of Guiness, for a toast, followed by chants of “let’s do it again” from the lads, Kapalua exclaimed “Seriously. Are u frickin kidding me?” Then he yelled, “20 years down… 20 more years to go!”
Yours in sports,
Wick E Wiley
SCORES
1.JAKE.(-15)…83..81..80..78..85..84
2.SNOOT( -23)…95..100..86..93..86..97
3.KAPALUA.(-25).88..90..89..94..90..91
4.CUTTER(-38)..109..98..106..99–103..103
5.JOEBOB(-40)..95..102..94..100..100..93
6.BOYNIE (-41)..102..99..98..99..108..103
6.GOLDILOX (-41)..107..103..96..95..98..104
8.STEVEO(-48)..95..109..104..103..88..98
9.DUKE (-49)..86..97..85..94..85..95
10.JOHNNY MAC..103..95..111..102..DNF…DQED…W/D