Feeling quite despondent and depressed after his second WDI tourney collapse, the Neck secretly doubted his ability to be competitive again. While he thought Salmonella poisoning by his fellow WDI competitors was the cause of his downfall, he couldn’t prove it. So he embarked on a new route – self improvement. Miraculously, after talking privately with swing guru Butch Harmon and spending several sessions with golf shrink Bob Rotella, the Neck felt he was emotionally ready to play golf at his highest level again.

He even traveled back to his homeland, Germany, and chatted with his great uncle, Baron Von Hitler, about taking his lessons from “blitzkrieg warfare” and transferring it into golf.

All he had to do was to find a game with a couple schmoes and then take their money. The setting was perfect, Thursday, May 17th Kapalua’s 60th birthday. The schmoes, Fish, Hodge, and Kapalua were present but were unaware of the Neck’s plans.

Steel-eyed and full of piss and vinegar, the Neck strode to the first tee at Palma Ceia and confidently smacked the ball down the middle and then repeated this maneuver again and again. Yes, the Neck was back. He once again had that faraway gaze in his eyes remembering the past – leading his panzer group across the Polish border in 1939; doing a jig with his great, great uncle in Compiegne, France after the French surrendered and winning at Pinehurst in ’97.

Actually, the Neck played scary good and managed to pummel his fellow WDI competitors on this great day, and to add insult to injury, he aced number 13 with a six iron from 180 yards. The ball bounced once six feet from the hole and found its way to the bottom of the cup.

After slurping down his fourth free beer (Fish and Kapalua actually had to chase the Neck down from the parking lot after the round was over and drag him back to the men’s grill), Fish exclaimed, “Ach to Lieber, the Neck is back!” He may well be back, but will Torrey Pines take its toll? Tune in August for the results.

Yours in golf,

Rick Reilly